Irrefutable DNA evidence: Bigfoot exists

Throughout history, sightings of a large animal people dubbed Bigfoot, Sasquatch or Skunk Ape, have been reported. "Sasquatch" originated in Canada from Indian folklore. For centuries, 14-inch-long footprints with no arch have been located and memorialized in plaster castings and photographs.

The first sighting of Bigfoot occurred in 1811 by a man named David Thompson. In 1924 Albert Ostman claimed that he was held captive by Bigfoots for several days. But these claims have gone unproven.

Until now.

As of this writing, there is irrefutable evidence that Bigfoot is a real species. 

According to the Americans for Bigfoot Preservation, the DNA evidence found from the tissue samples of a toenail found in a Bigfoot impression in the Salamonie Forest in NE Indiana, has come back as being that of an unknown primate.

"It could be the missing link we've been waiting for all these years," said DNA expert, Stewart Steen. "And now we have it."

The problem is finding the creature who lost the toenail. Currently, DNR rangers have been ordered on 12-hour shifts to comb the forest for more evidence along with skilled volunteers.

"We know they're here. We just don't know how they're able to be so elusive. Aside from the caves, we know they build lean-to's. We've had quite a few wood knocks the past few nights, but still no sightings. It's as if they are toying with us." DNR Ranger, Matt Lott shared more information at the press conference near the Pavilion. "It's not just in the primitive camps, either. The upper camps are also experiencing such things as tents and campers being shaken."

Campers are admonished to keep all food locked away for their own safety.

Lott warned campers to use extra caution. "We don't know how dangerous these creatures are. I mean, we've lived with them now for thousands of years and we've yet to have anyone hurt by them. But we've never actively hunted them like this before, either, and they may feel threatened."

Bigfoots range from seven to nine feet tall and could weigh between 600 and 900 pounds. 

Anyone who sights a Bigfoot is asked to report their findings to the Indiana DNR. Any photos may become property of the State of Indiana, so be sure to make your own copies. 

And refer to this post's date when making your report.